Monday, December 12, 2011

Where did everyones manners go?

So recently I feel like I have noticed more that no one has manners anymore, especially when it comes to dealing with people who are modified. I feel like I cant even ride the metro to work and listen to my ipod without someone asking me "Did that hurt?" or trying to grab my arm to look at my tattoos. Just becuase I have tattoos does not mean I am inviting a stranger to come touch me. Maybe being a piercer has made me a little OCD, but I have my own personal bubble space that I would prefer people don't invade without my permission. What I'm getting at has been stated so eloquently in this article I read today. It's called "Tattoo Etiquette 101". The writer made a list of what you should never do to someone tattooed, but the rules definitely apply to someone with any body modification. The rules are stated below, but you can find the whole article HERE.

1. Don’t touch anyone without their consent.

I seriously can’t believe I even have to say this. But just don’t. Don’t grab my arm in a store, sweep my hair behind my ear while we’re standing in line, touch my leg, etc... I don’t care that you’re just trying to “get a better look.” I don’t know you and you’re touching my body.

2. Do not lift up someone’s clothing!

Ahhh! I still can’t believe this happens. And I’m not alone -- every single one of my tattooed girlfriends has horror stories about people grabbing them, touching them, lifting up sleeves, shirts, or even pulling on their waistbands. WTF?!

3. They don’t all have a story.

Actually, most of them do -- but a lot of them are personal or private. If I’ve just met you and you’re grilling me, I’m not going to want to share them with you.

4. Piggybacking on the above -- don’t make a snide comment or insist that I defend them to you.

I’m not going to walk around telling everyone that they should have tattoos or pink hair or mullets or glasses or whatever. It doesn’t bother me that you don’t have tattoos, I don’t see why it should severely offend you that I do. (The “you” here being random stranger, new acquaintance or drunk relative I rarely see).

5. If you’re a medical professional, it is not appropriate to comment on my tattoos unless their presence directly affects your ability to treat me.

Appropriate example: My new allergist says, “Alli, since your arm is heavily covered is it alright with you if I do the prick test on your back? We’ll be able to see it better there since it’s less covered.”

Inappropriate example: A doctor (who I no longer see), right as she’s doing an internal pelvic exam, says, “You’re so covered, you’ve even got ink on your stomach.” Lady, your hand is up my vag -- if we’re not getting sexy, I don’t want to talk about my tattoos.

6. Don’t feel bad for my parents.

Dear friends, and commenters, I know we’ve all heard this before -- for any “questionable” decision we’ve made. “Oh what do your parents say?” or “Oh your poor parents!” Listen, random stranger, my parents may not love that I’m as decorated as I am but they do love that I’m happy, self assured, successful, and independent.

7. Please don’t show me yours.

Drunk dudes seem to sincerely believe that girls with tattoos are going to jump their bones the second we see the faded, scratched, tequila worm or Tasmanian devil they got when they were drunk in college. I have fun talking about my tattoos with fellow collectors, or nice, interesting, earnest people -- I don’t so much enjoy seeing a dude I barely know start to disrobe in the middle of a bar because he wants to show me something. (This seriously happens All. The. Time).

8. Don’t point at me.

I’m sure your mother/third grade teacher/auntie told you that it’s rude. The end.

9. Do feel free to introduce yourself and tell me that you were curious about my tattoos.

If you’re a nice, non-invasive person willing to talk to me like I’m human, sure, I’ll chat with you. Will I lift up my shirt in the middle of the bar like the aforementioned dude-guy? No. But I’ll happily take five minutes to have a polite conversation with you -- all you have to do is treat me like a person.

10. Do feel free to ask me where I got them done.

The people who tattoo me are amazing -- talented, friendly, kind. I’m happy to send you their way.

Any other tattoo dos or don’ts? Etiquette questions? Think I’m a jerk? Reply in the comments.

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